Reflecting on 2019 + Why I’m a Bad Business Owner

I know that we are all in the same boat when I say that it is CRAZY to say that it is 2020 out loud (… or in my case to type it). 2019 was an emotional, messy year. Between juggling multiple jobs, Adam’s deployment to the Middle East, and everything in between… I had to push my business to the back burner and prioritize just surviving instead of thriving. You know that sometimes cliché saying, “you can’t pour from an empty cup?” PHEW. Y’ALL. I learned that hard in 2019. This blog isn’t going to be a list of goals or a word of the year. It’s just going to be my attempt at reflecting on 2019 and putting it into words. I’m going to sum up each quarter of this year and discuss why I’m a bad business owner. Let’s get into it.

First, let’s talk about a few notable moments from my personal life in 2019…

Close up photo of yellow lab

Q1
Adam left for his nine-month deployment to Syria. Tracer (our dog) and I had a lot of couch dates. I survived planning the largest event of my career for work. I taught a portion of a college course for the first time.

Pointing at best friend's engagement ring

Q2
I watched my best friend get engaged to the love of her life. Almost just as important as that… I kept it as a secret with zero suspicion from her for the months leading up to it (I’m the worst at lying).

Sitting on a large wooden sign in Banff National Park

Q3
I stuck with my goal of a new country each year for the 4th year in a row and traveled to Banff National Park in Canada (which marks my 14th country). I started as an Adjunct Instructor teaching Introduction to Entrepreneurship.

Q4
I accepted an offer for a full-time instructor position to teach Introduction to Entrepreneurship. Adam came home from his deployment (!!!). We traveled thousands of miles and drove all across the East Coast to visit both of our families for the holidays.

Surviving, not thriving…

When I wrote my blog post on NYE of 2018 looking towards 2019, I was excited to be intentional with my business and I was excited to see what I could accomplish… and then life happened. I wrote more about my feelings about this and talked about how I truly believe that, for me, balance is a myth in this blog post from back in May. As much as I wanted 2019 to be a year of thriving, it needed to be a year of surviving instead. I had to prioritize my needs versus my wants and focus on keeping my sanity. I had to accept that I was going to be a bad business owner.

I mentioned above that in Fall of 2019, I was an Adjunct Instructor and teaching Introduction to Entrepreneurship. 2019 had a lot of lows… but three days a week, I was able to look forward to sharing my experiences and educating 91 students about what I love the most. During this time, I made sure to be authentic and vulnerable with my students. I talked about the difficulty of my attempts to stabilize my efforts in each area of my life as an entrepreneur and as a full-time employee. I have plans to expand more on teaching and what I’ve learned, but more to come on that further into the new year. Long story short, my students inspired me daily and allowed me to continue to align my purpose and my passions.

As I look forward to the new year and an entirely new decade, I know that my most important takeaway from reflecting on 2019 is that readjustment and alignment is a daily practice. It isn’t just making lists and blocking time. It isn’t trying to discover the healthy line between busy and productive. It is honest self-reflection and vulnerable conversations. It is learning to say no. It is learning to pace yourself in a world that tells you that hustle is the way to success.

2020 holds a few big changes. Most importantly, the shift that I am making in my career is going to allow me more flexibility to make my business a priority again, to feel like a business owner again. It feels like I am breathing fresh air again as I type this. Thank you for sticking with me. Thank you to those of you who purchased from my shop. Thank you for giving me this platform and being a part of this community. I’m looking forward to another amazing year filled with personal growth. 2020… I am so ready for you.

Until next time, stay bossy y’all.

XOXO Bossy Brushstrokes
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